Hi! Thank you everybody! I am so glad I found PC! All of you are helping me a lot during this turbulent period of my life.
As YoungModern said, I know I am too generous with him... and this is not good! He is just taking everything and demanding more and more...He is so selfish but still it is almost impossible for me to say no to him. He doesnt deserve anything from me. But somehow I get scare "to lose him"....(while I am writing this I can not believe myself! how stupid am I???) Probably losing him would be the best thing that could happen in my life right now...
I read a lot about emotional abuse as salix11 and pseu suggested. I didnt know much about it but now I can tell that definitely I am in one . The sad part of this discovery was that once my good friend told me about it.... and I got angry with her! Can you imagine?
I am trying to stay away from him as much as I can, but eventually we always meet and I do whatever he asks for...and I hate it!
I want to become disgusted with the him soon! I want to loose myself from his influence, you know?
My self esteem is crushed! It's been hard to be myself since I met this guy...
I am trying to be strong but I wish I could find a switch in my mind that could just turn all my thoughts about him off...