i hear what'cha saying, micah. it does take soooo much mental energy trying to untangle all that we face sometimes. i don't think crying will hurt. sometimes i feel it's a cleansing of pain. i used to allow myself say 15 minutes to just let the tears flow. usually that amount of time helped. i say time it cause you don't want to "go under" with the tears. also can you just simplify your thoughts, give your mind a rest, be gentle with yourself as you would a good friend? in time i believe you will find your peace. just hang on. if it worked for me, i believe it will for you too. we care. i'm glad you posted how you are feeling.