LMo,

The things that you said you did and was told were enabling didn't sound that much like enabling to me. It really can be a fine line, like we said before, and maybe you just didn't realize then that it was important for him to do those things himself. Also, you changed when you saw the results, and stopped doing things for him.

On the other hand, we all have aspects of our personality that we don't like and don't want to accept. You have mentioned that people, your therapist in particular, have quesioned why you stay with your boyfriend when it doesn't seem that he is an equal match for you. It's not easy to face, and you would need to look at it yourself and make your own interpretation, but is it possible that part of you likes being a caretaker? What benefits might you get from being a caretaker? Does the idea of taking care of him make you feel good?

I want to just tell you that none of what you have done is enablling because I think that is what you would like to hear, but that is something that you have to answer for yourself. Hey, none of us are perfect, and you are very compassionate and do a lot of good for your boyfriend as well as others including us here.
Wendy

<font color=purple>"The real problem of mental life is not why some people become insane, but rather why most avoid insanity." -Erich Fromm</font color=purple>