Sam being dead has had a major impact on my whole life, because her and Georgie both together filled a void in my life.. I was an inspiration to them, so they told me and they helped me by being there to talk to.. I've known them for about 9 months now, and that's not very long to have built up such a close bond, but we just instantly clicked and now she's gone, I've lost a part of me..

I do music at college, it's a BTEC National Diploma. I'm a singer/songwriter/guitarist. I got lost in my work not lnog ago and got into pretty big trouble for that, but this time I'm getting as far ahead of everyone else as I can, so I don't fall behind like I did before.. I want to become a professional singer/songwriter, using guitar as my accompaniment, butalso having a band to back me on other songs when i perform live, because some of them include drums, or piano, or bass guitar, even including violin. That's one of my main aims and because everyone's been going on at me to go on the X Factor, I've finally given in and am doing it, not neccessarily to win, but to get myself known for one thing and for another thing, to have fun, get away from all of this.

Georgie is out of hospital, and Sam's funeral is tomorrw I have given ideas for songs that I think should be played at the funeral and Georgie has taken that on board and also wants them played, too. I might be doing psychology at college next yer, along with an animal management/veterinary nursing course, because veterinary nursing is one thing I'd like to do, too, along with running a kennels and stable.

I hope my sleep starts to get better now, otherwise, I'll be doped up on sleeping tablets every night and feeling realyl drowsy the next day, which is even worse.. I already get weak legs in the mornings after taking my cmobined anti-d's and sleeping pills, which isn't helpful at all considering I walk to college! But that makes the effects wear off more quickly which is good.

If only i had a pet again.. Everything would be so much better, I'd be able to concentrate on that, have company, be giving him/her a new lease of life (it'd be a rescued animal) and I'd be giving myself that happiness I've needed for so long. It'd just make my life feel so much more whole again.

*sigh* I have to go to SWEDA (Somerset and Wessex Eating Disorder Association) meetings again, because Conor's caught onto the fact taht I'm not eating properly again, taht I'm restricting, which is annoying because I was trying so hard to hide it. Let's hope he drops it, so I don't have to go to the meetings.. At least not until I'm thin enough..

Well.. I have choir in an hour, so I'd better go and get prepared, along with gettign stuff together for teaching singing lessons.

Thanks hun, that's cheered me up a little.