((Andy))
I'm so sorry that you are going through this rough time...

You've shared what many of us have felt before, and I thank you for your honesty.

Andy, your mum was most likely aware of the problems, and it may have given her some comfort in knowing your therapist is aware of it.
Please remember you are your number one priority; your mum will take care of herself.

You say, "I can't afford for this to be happening..." Perhaps that should be turned around...you can't afford for it not to be happening.
It doesn't feel good, but this is an opportunity for you to take care of things. You've a chance to get out of a world of hurt and into a world of peace and hope.

Please don't beat yourself up--at any given time we are doing the best we can.

Cap