I dont know where to post this, but i am having the most MISERABLE day!!!! First my horoscope for the day that I get daily sent to my email:
Thursday, Jan 8th, 2009 -- You may be required to deal with a change of plans at work today and your willingness to respond to the situation can make the difference between success and failure. It may feel as if someone is purposefully interfering with your plans, but it's not likely intentional. Just remember that the small issues you face now are a reflection of the bigger issues still in front of you.

Boy was this horoscope NOT lying. So yesterday I posted in the Psychotherapy boards about my slight trigger at work yesterday, which i didnt even realize I had, nor do I know where it came from. I got so worked up because I felt like I'd was being called a liar--i felt like i started shaking from the inside out--I was in a full spin. I was pissed beyond belief and after all was said and done and i was at home i realized that I completely over reacted to the situation. Good thing Im not hella impulsive otherwise i probably wouldve been lashing out at everyone at work, but instead I bottled it up..perusual. So today I screw up at work, through no fault of my own (it's b/c i wasn't given all of the details to complete a certain project and it was my boss's belief that I had be given all the details before the guy they fired left a few weeks ago) and my boss gets angry at me. Pretty much told me that I screwed up (not in those words, but it was implied) she said quite sternly DO NOT REPEAT it ---almost yelling at me. And of course I am flipping out. Not only am I terrified of making mistakes, but I have a huge fear people being angry with me, a huge fear of confrontations and a huge fear people in positions of authority---all those combined and I am a hot mess. My heart was pounding--i could literally hear it and it sounded like it was beating a million beats a minute---my under arms were starting to sweat, I was shaking and in a full blown spin and on top of that i was pissed off.

I told my boss "I don't know what you want from me unless you tell me." She said "well i thought "bob" went over everything before he left". She said "it was my belief that he did". I told her "well "bob" didn't tell me much before he left." I think she may have felt bad after that and was a little nicer to me, but that doesnt change the way I reacted and the way I felt. a normal person wouldnt have reacted like that.
I completely hate myself for reacting like this...it's so freaking childish. I dont know where it came from. I was on the verge of tears for almost an hour...I feel like such an idiot. I don't blame her for yelling at me though. I keep thinking I should've known better. I am such an IDIOT. I just want to crawl under my covers and go away forever!