Tomi

Excellent example and excellent point. We can make a pact that we can push, but push gently. There's a difference between the statement " What I heard is this", and "What you said is this". The "I" / "you" placement changes how it's read, and consequently how it's felt. I think I could safely say that many times my "triggers" come from misunderstandings. That's not to say the dragons feelings are less real, but he is aroused in false circumstances.

When he is aroused, I'm most closely connected to what he is about. During less turbulent times I can recall parts of why I was agitated, but often, like many memories, it's only a piece of the whole picture. That's why I think prodding him is a way to understand him better. Like the sleeping lion, we don't know what his character is until he wakes.

Unlike the sleeping lion, the dragon / child / cloud is a part of us. It feeds on our energy and well-being. I don't expect mine to sleep forever or go away on it's own. It would be foolish to wake the lion. To not confront the dragon is allowing it to feed at its' own will.

I feel we've learned more about each other in this process and if you lost your temper on me, I've learned that it's your pain talking, not you. So don't worry so much.

I think we've done well to consider what we might do to the other by going forward, and our solutions seems workable. Isn't it funny we haven't considered our own feelings if things get too hairy? Depressive empathy? I think Heidu's point is valuable. How will we know for ourselves we've pushed ourself too far and how will we let the others know?

If we're going to do this, we need to have a circuitous communication, between ourselves, and to ourselves. Some of the things that may come up will need process time. Let's move at the pace that gives each of us safety barriers and not be embarrassed to ask for more time.

Hugs to you.... I've willfully faced my demons before and it is a weighty thing. It's not something we only do here. You'll find yourself spending time alone in thought, distracted by it as you do other things (driving is a good example), you may fall asleep to it or wake to it. For all the unpleasant side effects, miles can be gained in recovery. We may not break through this time, but we can get further. I think we will always remember this experience and draw on its lessons in the future. Just wanted to make you aware of what you might be getting into and if you want to go forward, I'm ready.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius