I know, I know.. But maybe if I wasn't so shy and quiet and easy to pick on, then they wouldn't have picked on me.. See? That's the issue I have!! Idk.. Maybe because of the size of my chest.. That's generally the thing people tend to look at nowadays.. The only thing I like about having gotten fatter is that my chest has gotten more impressive LOL but then, i hate having DD/E boobs! They get in the way!! Lol.

I'm about 160/170lbs.. And I'm 5'6ish. That's awful! it makes me so sick to be so heavy at this age! 17!! :@ taht means I'm at the top of the healthy range.. I used to be just under the middle of healthy weight, becoming underweight.. I loved that.. So I'm getting there again, but going further.. I can't stand the way I look.. I get picked on for it and I don't like it one bit.. I know I'm still me, but I don't want people to look down on me just because I'm fatter than I used to be.. And I want to be able to go up on stage and be confident..

I don't want to be abused anymore, but I constantly am, in one way or another.. whether it be people being *****y to/about me, raping me, hitting me, mentally abusing me, or ignoring my cries for help.. I just can't stand it!! I cry for help in so many different ways and STILL NO-ONE LISTENS!!

It makes no sense to me! I feel lik,e I'm doing everything wrong, like I'm goign about it the wrong way, seeming like an attention seeker, so they ignore me.. *cries*.. I hate this! I can't live it anymore!!