Why do i still think that I must not have been worth supporting? And that it is too late now and I will never be anything at all. And that it would never be good enough, anyway?

I remember writing / saying that I never really learn beyond whatever my initial abilities at something are. In music, I'm not too bad at sight reading, but not very likely to ever get good enough to actually perform. Learning any new skills seems like either I get it immediately, or I never will.

Reading the DBT training manual, it says that borderlines inevitably lack self-shaping ability. "Their unreasonable expectations for immediate perfection interfere constantly with their ability to learn the skills gradually."

T expects me to be able to apply my own training and skills to my own deficits. It isn't that easy. And she will think that I'm just making excuses and labeling myself if I try to tell her that, most likely.