clara0clear0eyes, I struggle with intimacy too. I also decided I could not have children because I still have mental health issues from my own childhood. It is a tough thing to lose something as special as having a child. Time has helped heal a lot of my wounds, but I still have some struggles. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you but at the moment I am really wiped out and I'm too tired to think. But, I wanted to at least reply to your post so you know you are not alone. Take heart, I think things do get better....