Hi there, I was very violent and close to jail. When I was dx 15 years ago I was a complete maniac. Promiscuous, self medicating, criminal, paranoid, self-harming, homicidal and completely out of control. I was also dx schizoeffective. I had terrible, passionate relationships and was in and out of hospital. On and off meds, running amok, raising a child as a single parent and basically being an urban terrorist.

I have now been diagnosed bipolar, take my lithium and look at my life 15 years later. My son is 13 and great and does well in life, I have met someone who loves me for all my complete mental breakdowns and the times that I have accused him of not loving me enough(I hate you, don't leave me!), the times, though rare now, that I completely lose my mind and fly into intense rage, when I spend 2 weeks obsessively trying to apply quantum theory to environmental issues( he actually helps me! to a degree and then he points out the futility of my theories) and a whole bunch of other stuff. He teaches me how to love peacefully and that sex is about LOVE not POWER.

You can get to a good place with all this and I fall off a lot of the time but I just get up and make peace with God and get back on the wagon. I have learn't to start loving myself! Terrible cliche but true nonetheless.