My husband and I have been married for four years now and together for five. Over the years I have always been moody and over the years it just got worse and worse. Well a month ago I finally went to a pdoc that diagnosed me with bipolar after all the other docs I had went to over the years just said I was depressed and nothing ever helped. Well, things will be fine between me and my husband and then one day we will fight and he will think I am doing everything on purpose, act like bipolar is something I know how to control (I'm working on it, but as of now I feel helpless) and blames all of our problems on me and says that I have a lot more issues than just that. Well I realize I have issues and that is why I am going to a pdoc, have an appt to see a tdoc this week and we are scheduling marriage counseling next week. Really there isn't a whole lot more I can do. I am trying so hard and I love him...but lately I don't feel in love with him...and my mind has been wondering to other men...is that normal? I've never had those thoughts before. I want to do something crazy I want to feel that rush I haven't felt in so long. I love my husband, but its obvious that he is tired of my problems and I just want fire and passion. He loves me, God I know he does, he shows me, but then the next day all our problems are because of me. I need a reality check, what the hell is going on with me?