Oh my goodness babe! That is a big one. I don't know if I can offer much advice as all healing takes time but if the issues are just to big, you need to talk to someone, one to one. Otherwise, just keep writing and keep posting and we will all try and help you nut this out, day at a time. Everyone here has suffered moderate or severe trauma at sometime in their lives so you will have a sea of listeners and you are in good hands.

Keep on keeping on and it will all become clearer......