I'm saddened to hear your situation, and 5 years is a long time, but at least you found out now. Losing someone you care about is always distressing. I have not been in a relationship for over 6 years and a lot of the time it is easier for me (but I have issues that you hopefully dont). You may want to look upon this time as a time to do something for yourself. You'll find someone- when you're least expecting it. Hang in there...