Hi Wendy

Yeah! You're going the same direction I want to. Acceptance.... YES! He is valid, his feelings are valid, his wants are valid. He just has an unreasonable attitude !

I had a number of step-mothers growing up... The evil one was the 6th. I was 10 years old.

If Tomi is willing, and when she's ready, let's complete the synthesis of individual similiarities for question #2. "How did it grow?" The answer to this explains how we were, how we grew, how we reasoned, what were the major influences? Then we can use Socratic to re-think the decisions we made at that time. I don't think the method would be as beneficial for any of the other 6 questions. I think, for me, the stumbling block centers around the dragons personality. What are his characteristics as much as what triggers him. Is he fearful, insecure, angry, jealous, ashamed, etc.... ? Those answers would apply well to the method.

We may "publicly" expose some "immature" details about our personalities. It's important to remember, the emotions appear immature because they developed and became constructed before we were adults. They are the emotions and responses of children, ourselves as children. Sometimes it may be hard to admit considering our current age. Unles we are as truthful as we can be, we can't expect maximum results. Just some things to consider before we begin. Hugs to you too. If you decide to join in, it might get rocky.... consider it well.

When we have an agreed, synergized situation to work on, like emotional abuse from parent figures, we need a volunteer to be the questioner. The other two could answer. Since I'm a little familiar with the process, I would volunteer to question. We'd begin by the answerers making a statement relative to the common situation. Such as "I felt like blah, blah, blah when so and so did such and such". Try to keep statements tight (short, but complete). The questions are intended to root out layers of emotions beneath the original statement, so one question may lead to other questions within the same topic. The questioner is allowed to use previous statements in present questions. Contradicting statements are often used as a tool to expose "thought traps." If you'd like to investigate the process further, a web serach should satisfy your questions. Keywords "Socratic Method".

In answer to whether we're healing or avoiding, only you will know. If you don't feel a twist in your gut from knowing you've lied, you're doing the best you can.

I'm open to whatever you and Tomi decide regarding a new thread or staying on this. Staying might eliminate the need to refer to 2 threads for the same reasons Tomi gave previously.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising every time we fall." Confucius