Tuesday I saw my T. I was sharing some background info with her about some of the men’s from my past relationships. I did not this went while at all because for the first time I felt as if she was judging me by the looks on her faces and just her overall expression. Because a few of these men is and was married and she is married. When I met those men none of them wore a wedding bond and I never ask because I thought they should volunteer the info them selves but they never do. Just about all the men I have been with were old enough to be my father. Second they all took advantage of me in some way. And now I am with some one who truly desires me but I would rather be with one of these other men when it comes to the sexual stuff why that is? I don’t know...both mom and dad were not around and I am in treatment for SA and I guess absent parents. Because of this I think I should find a new t because I feel really bad about sharing this with her all I have been thinking since was why? How is she going to look at me now? What is she thinking when she thinks of me? How do I let these feels go?