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by age 6 i dressed, fed myself and made my lunch for school many mornings because i needed to NOT ask for help in my house.
i know by age 9, i stopped asking for anything if i could help it. it wasn't safe. by age 12 when i sprained my ankle i took a blunt object and worsened the injury because i was afraid of what might happen after they took me to the doctor if the injury was not "bad enough to justify" the cost of going to the doctor.
over time i learned to forget my needs and do all i could to suppress asking anyone to meet my needs. and my T congratulated me yesterday on me being able to express my feelings openly and getting them "out" as she said. i've only been going to see her for 14 years now...
i've been married 28 years now and i find it very hard to ever ask for an emotional need to be met. help with taking the trash out or getting the oil changed in the car is one thing, but my real needs inside, nope he doesn't want to be asked and will not respond.
those are 5 words i do not know how to use in a healthy way. to ask is to feel shame or fear. i seldom ask. obviously i need to continue to go to T and work on things like that. hope you are quicker at it than i am. good luck on it.
leslie and pixies
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  HEALING HAPPENS
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