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my nest has not been too safe. it is a place where i have been hyper-vigilant. mostly my nest is a place inside my head where i and my alters are. however, none of us can see each other as there is no light in our nest. so we are very vigilant to watch out for predators and other kinds of birds.
i have triggered today into a cynical spot inside of me. i am not usually so pessimistic any more. i used to be a complete and bitter cynic. i know things will get better and someday i will have a sweet and safe nest, but right now in T we are getting into some bad places of the past and i do not feel safe. i feel angry, restless, sad, lost and lonely. i need a momma bird. i never really had one of those. i've heard that there is some kind of bird that lays its eggs in the sand on the ground where they are not even safe. that was the kind of mother bird we had. i would like a momma bird who would care for the nestlings and be strongly protective of the little birds.
i protected my 2 nestlings and i do believe i might have killed to protect them. i am glad i did not have to find out. i still feel like a small bird who got shoved out of the nest too soon and without all the necessary skills.
sorry to be so gloomy tonight. it is just that way today.
gloomy pixie, the pessimist of the bunch!
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  HEALING HAPPENS
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