((((silver))))it's ok to "here i go again", silver. i know when i'm really depressed it's hard for me to find the silver lining. and i could really relate to that pain in your chest. i used to call it a truck on my chest. that's how heavy it felt.
how about giving yourself a "mental health day", as i call it. like just be kind to yourself and do things that please you today. even if it's sitting in bed with a good book. you could write down a gratitude list-things you are grateful for that you mentioned, but also write about the things you like about yourself...like being grateful that you can be a good friend to us at pc. periodically during the day you can reread the list to reinforce the positives in your life. we appreciate you and care for you!
i hope your day gets better. thanks for sharing how you are feeling. it enables us to remind you how special you really are.