I sorta see everyone's point.

I didn't see him coming with it hanging out because the room was completely dark besides the outside streetlamps. I was fighting my own urge to give in, we have always had a mutual and explosive chemistry, and the whole time he said, "I did it for you" so not only was I battling with my own feelings, I was battling a sort of feeling of obligation toward him. And I was still mad and disgusted by my boyfriend, and that is why I didn't call for him or go to him. But I did hold up my "no" for the entire thing, and from the complete getgo.

I still felt completely violated when I left, and had a panic attack when I got home. I was anxious and nauseated all day yesterday, and I am still severly anxious today.

I dont want to know for legal reasons; I dont plan on pressing charges. I just want to know that what I am feeling isn't for no reason.