Let me share this with you. It's just my experience, so that means just that - it's mine and that doesn't make it set in concrete for anyone. I realized one day that when I feel really, really close with someone I tend to "sexualize" the relationship. I'm talking about the people in my life that I have absolutely connected with, felt safe with, were happy with, they good to me and vice versa.

I haven't figured out all the why's and where for's. Maybe it's because I was molested as a child, maybe it's because I have abandonment issues, maybe it's because my fingernail is chipped! I don't know for me and I don't even know if this applies to you.

I used to be afraid to let someone know that I liked them. That was very risky...so much rejection in my life. Somewhere, somehow things would get bungled and mixed up and somehow I would sexualize my feelings.

What I have learned is when I start having strong feelings toward someone I tell them that I like them. I simply give myself permission to voice how I feel about a friend to a friend. Nothing dramatic, just easy conversation. Out-of-respect for the friend I don't bring the sexual component into it if there is one. If there was one, it usually goes away. And if it's meant to be then perhaps that component will come back around.

You're just getting on the highway of life. Relax, enjoy the ride.

notz