The thing with anger, in my experience and I certainly don't want to sound melodramatic as it is not the same with everyone, is that it is like a snowball. It keeps gathering layers as it rolls down the hill. It also picks up momentum until it is so big and moving so fast you just have to get out of the way or it will squash you.

I certainly don't think that it is the case for you at this point, but I struggled with intense rage for years and once in hospital, after having a very violent confrontaion with a person I do not know and injured that person quite badly, I was told that along with Borderline personality disorder and schizoeffective, I have "psychopathic anti-social behavioural problems". I was lucky I did not end up in jail or doing something i could never take back. I used to "black-out" with these episodes and could not remember what I had done. Not nice behaviour to live with.

My T spent 6 years trying new strategies with me, all the while risking her own life as I was extremely unpredictable. I was dx bipolar last year and found I was tested with my rage yet again.I am better at it now but nearly got into a blue with two people on the street just before Xmas in front of my son! Not good! But talked to my T and she put it into perspective.

My point is that anger can become uncontrollable without an outlet or a person to help you make sense of it. I found certain medications(anti-psychotics) helped during the really bad times. Diazepam works for me now only if I need it and I am on Lithium.

So if you can get some help......do it! It will make your life so much easier and you will not live with all the regret that I do. Good luck and keep us posted.