thanks everyone for your replies...the appointment was super duper hard..our body was totally in shock!!! we talked more today then we have in the whole YEAR in therapy...it was the hardest day we have had ever..we almost threw up numerous times..we are having a very hard day but we made huge progress with our t and cant be more proud of ourselves truly..out t now knows that the amount of pain inside is so great that we hold and is so much more understanding and we see a side to her that is caring and compassionate now...thank you all for talking with us..we are hurting very badly but t said it's going to be a very rough journey..thing is the stuff we told her wasnt even the bad stuff we told her that and she was a little so we felt almost proud of ourselves for not being so wimpy about how good we have been that we aren't as weak as those mean people said we were i know it's wrong to gloat sp? over a very serious situation but that's how inside the "other's" were feeling...

MC