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Jan 10, 2009, 08:42 PM
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 117
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I stopped crying as an infant due to abuse and it has always been difficult for me to cry and talk with my therapist who I have known for 23 years and have seen him for 12 consequetive and in at a five year point after a break.
I still have difficulty crying. It is a huge trust issue, trusting him and myself. This past year he asked after 16 years, "I still have a difficult time understanding why it is so difficult for you to cry and talk with me." (I've had sobbing sessions, but that was different)
That opened up a whole new area for us. For about the past few weeks, I've been using at least two tissues each session usually more. It is coming more spontaneously. However, it is still difficult. I had also made a rule in my head a long time ago that I was never going to cry especially in front of anyone. I'm 43 now...life has been pretty painful with the results of my abuse. It is much better now and I can actually assure people that if you stick to the hard work that it gets better and believe it. Don't tell my therapist, he'll use it "against" me. 
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