Minus the actual sex, are the two of you as physically affectionate?

A lot of times when there are problems in bed, overall physical touch goes down too. We all need to be touched, but it doesn't have to be sexual. If he is having a hard time with the actual act, try just being close and intimate in other ways. Back rubs, cuddling, holding hands. That will help with your needs for him, in a very non-pressuring way, and it might help him relax some too.