I've been putting off making this post for ages, but I could really use some advice...

In August last year, the orchestra I'm in went on tour for a week, and when I was there I started talking to one of the other violinists...I'd noticed him around before, but we'd never really spoken. We got on well, and discovered we had some things in common beyond playing the same instrument...by the end of the tour, I realised I'd developed a pretty big crush on him. Unfortunately, on the last night I discovered that he's five years older than me - I'm 19, he's 24.

I still see him each week at rehearsals, but we don't always speak...I wish we did, but I'm often too shy to start up a conversation, and I can't figure out what he thinks of me anyway. We have had some good chats both on Facebook (usually started by me) and at rehearsal, but then sometimes when I'm online he'll ignore me, or at rehearsal he'll just smile and walk straight past. When that happens, it makes me wonder if on tour he was only being so friendly because he'd been drinking (a lot of the time when we were talking, it was in pubs).

So, basically, I'm confused! I've been unsuccessfully trying to get over him for months, but the only way I can see myself managing to stop thinking about him so much is to stop seeing him, and orchestra is too important to me to give up. It'd be much easier if I could just see him as a friend, because at the moment every time he talks to me I start to think that maybe I have a chance...I know it's unlikely that anything will ever happen, though.

Is there anything I can do to get a better idea of what he thinks of me (there's no way I'd be brave enough to ask him straight out, and I'd risk making orchestra very awkward), or should I just accept that I can't seem to control how I feel and wait until this crush runs its course?