((((((((((((((((((splitimage))))))))))))))))))

What I've learned in AA is that I HAVE to always go back to the first step: "I am powerless over alcohol". If I REALLY BELIEVE this, then I can quiet that voice in my head that says "maybe just one...". Getting caught in that place of "should I? shouldn't I?" is a really dangerous place for me.

I'm sorry you are struggling right now. And I just read your post about the AA friend who died. Remember her 30 years of sobriety, her close relationship with a higher power, her peace. When I meet people like that, I think "I can't get there if I take a drink right now". She would want you to have that same peace that she had. You deserve that. Give yourself that gift.

Thinking of you...