ah! placing yourself in the role of the abused child is beyond the ability to comprehend. no child can comprehend traumatic abuse....their minds are developing and of course they can't grasp this horrible concept.

I do not mean anything negative by this. I was struck by this in your post </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
My T kept trying to tell me that I was innocent and had things taken away from me that I shouldn't have, and while rationally I believe him, emotionally I'm just, "yeah, whatever." I can get furious on anyone else's behalf but my own.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> because it is that gap that so many of us seek to bridge in order to heal.

I can put anyone else into the place of myself younger and in traumatic situations and bawl my eyes out but when I used to try to imagine myself younger in that situation I'm like a stone.

Used to. Lots of work and hard to describe what combination of things brought those two together but only in moments.........I can't cognitively remember this fact in that part of memory where I can get it all the time...........I just get glimpses now. Better than the total darkness and mystery before.

jennie recommended a fantastic book. my copy is so well thumbed and copied pages stuck into journals to remind me that I am not the disease or the disorder..........I'm wounded and working on healing.

You're not weird in this aspect.............but I'm sure yer weird in yer own proud freaky way.........just like I'm superfreaky weird in my own special way.

belated birthday wishes as I recall seeing that flash across the mental map of my mind. day late dollar short but the sentiment is true and keep working on the "yeah, whatever."

tc Candy.