welcome to pc!! yes, it is hard to find hapiness when we are depressed. i'm sorry you are feeling so down. but the good news is that for some of us with therapy+ meds we can get better results, imho. i am bipolar/hypomanic and have gained weight too. i asked my pdoc about this cause it really bothered me. he said, would you rather be thin and depressed or have weight gain and be happy? he wasn't trying to be mean or sarcastic, just pointing out that my life had changed so much for the better on my meds. right now i'm working on trimming down some of the weight. i do know some meds do not have this side affect. what works for me (meds) tho does cause the weight gain and a craving for sweets.
i just look at it like there's just more of me to love. lol. for me, i don't see the meds as a crutch cause my brain just doesn't spit out those chemicals at the right time or correct "doseage" so the meds have balanced that all out and my life is more on an even keel.
i hope you can find some resolution to what's going on with you real soon.