I take on the weight of the world because I want to prove to anyone and everyone that i am a good person, that I will help anyone who needs it.. Which is why, now, I'm setting up a campaign. All off my own back, someone was talking to me the other day and brought up psychological screening for foster carers and adoptive parents. This gave me the biggest idea ever, to set up a campaign to get this. psychological screening for all foster carers and for all prospective adoptive parents. To keep children, like me, safe from such abuse and harrassment and such.. difficulties with coming to terms with what happened to them and having to stop blaming themselves etc.

So, I'm going to print off as many forms as possible, to get them signed by as many people as possible so that i can send off petitions and such to the right people to hopefully get this looked into. Because it's just another thing to do to make people see that I am a good person. I can't help it, i just need to do that.

Pff. f*cking police are being completely useless!! First, they say "do you not remember us calling you THE DAY AFTER YOUR INTERVIEW to say that because of Sam's, doggens and Ali's statements, we'd not be able to take the case any further and you could get your stuff back whenever you liked?" NO!! I don't remember because you didn't effing tell me!! Then, I go to get my stuff today and they say "oh.. You need ID to get it" FFS!!! She could have easily said those SEVEN words over the phone then i wouldn't be having to go back and forth! So, now.. I'm going into my hypnotherapy session in a really bad mood, feeling really anxious and tried and upset and fuming, which is NOT going to help at all and Laura's (the hypnotherapist) going to notice it and probably ask how things have been then I'll explain and get even more worked up.. Then Alec'll ask how things are and I'll just rant and rant and rant and he'll be like; whoa and I'll be like; whoa and we'll all be like; whoa, because I never rant like that and I'll just get really angry and upset and probably start crying like a big fat baby :@!!!

*sigh* I'm so peed off right now!! BUT last night, I was talking to a friend online about all of this and she said "I'll go to my sexual assault team about this" I was like.. You work for the police??? and she said "yeah, I work for forensics for the West Midlands, Warwickshire, and West Mirkshire police force. I'm going to go to the sexual assault team here and see how strong they think your case is, because to me, it's rape whether you asked them to use a condom or not. It's still rape because you told them you didn't want it. And that's final. Somerset and Avon police force are notorious for being really, terribly, s**t for this type of case and I'm sorry you've had their s**tty-ness dumped on you. It's so f*cking unjust!" And yes, it is SOOOOO UNJUST!!!!! ARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!! WHY ARE THEY SO EFFING USELESS?!?!

She said that I might be able to drag up the case from ages ago too because it's not even been a year since that happened, yet. So, that means that guy can wipe that sickly smirk right off his face because I'll be the one smirking at him now because I know that my case is strong enough to win just like.. *snaps fingers* that! I mean.. How can it not be so effing blatent that I was raped, when the guy used the date rape drug?! How can that not be obvious????!!! WTF??? *gahhhh!!* Just goes to show how useless the police here are. i was talking to Charlene and Rich about it last night, saying how I can just imagine the amount of girls that have become more screwed in the head because of such a s**ty police force, dropping their cases no matter how strong they are, just because they can't be f*cked with the paper work and the costs etc. It makes me sick. They went on EVERYTHING BUT FORENSIC EVIDENCE. Yeah, 3 people said it was consented, so what??!! they were friends!! Sticking up for each other!! CHRIST!!! It doesn't take much to work it out!!!

Anyway.. I need to get to my hypnotherapy now.. I'm all worked up and mad and gahhh! So.. I'm gonna be a bit huffy and quite anxious now..