Oh good gracious.....what a loving and kind person you are for taking this on.

I believe you have absolutely every right to expect that things will be put into place for safety reasons right up front. Safety for you and for your ex...most definitely. Are you also requiring that he be in therapy while he stays with you and stays compliant on his meds at all times? Where is your son in all this? Will he be a part of his father's team in caretaking etc. or will he just be barking out what he expects from you?

Sorry if that sounds rough....but goodness, your responsibility for your ex ended when the divorce papers were signed. If you are to take this on, you have every reason to put into place good, strong boundaries and rules.

I would tell him that "my plan" is to make sure that everything is set up and in place BEFORE the ex moves in and to find a way for your ex to pay for it since it will benefit him. You should not have to fork out your own money to provide for the ex. You are already giving more than you are required and son should be ever so grateful! (as should the ex)

I wish you well with your undertaking. Prayers going out to you all.


sabby