Hang in there silver_queen,

I went through a very similar situation to you in 1999. My second year at the university and I was so depressed I couldn't leave my dorm room for weeks. The professional help available on campus was poor. I remember sitting in the campus therapist's office explaining how bad I was feeling lately. I was crying and very emotional, sharing feelings that I was to afraid to tell anyone else, when I looked up and noticed that he'd fallen asleep.

Ouch.

Anyway, my sister who had experience with depression convinced me to come home and get help there. Since I was going to school 300 miles away from where I lived, I had to withdraw from school, pack my bags, and leave my full scholarship in Florida. I didn't return.

I did enroll after a year or so in a local university and I've been part time there for four years now. Now I'm working full time and going to school. I feel some pressure from my job to finish, and during a stressful period last year, I ended up in the outpatient program at a local hospital. Otherwise, my life is excellent and I'm hopeful about my future with my family and my work.

Things to remember,

1) You're young and you have a long life ahead of you. Don't write off your future just yet. Even if you have to take a different route than you planned, you still have your entire life to achieve your goals. You are not on anyone's schedule but your own.

2) I know it's really hard to reach out to others when you're depressed but that's exactly what you need to help you cope. Do you have a family member or a friend that you can call and share your feelings? Someone who will be supportive and help you solve problems? My sister saved my life when I was in Florida.

3) You have many, many options. They are just harder to see through the fog of depression.

I'm really sorry you have to experience this kind of pain. Know that the pain will stop and you will find joy again. Maybe sooner than later. If I can help at all, please let me know.

Saafir