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Dear Julie,
It clearly, was not rape, or any kind of sexual assault, whatsoever. You need to take 100% responsibility, for what transpired. I make this statement, very much in your interest. With responsibility comes power. When you are responsible, you are in control. Shifting blame to another, particularly, blame that rises to the level of a serious felony, makes you a victim. Victims, generally are powerless, and have little control over what is happening to them.
You were not a victim of an assault; you were ambivalent. Now, your are distressed, because of your ambivalence. Please, take responsibility for your conduct. You will feel better, in a heart-beat.
Lastly, I am not condoning the conduct of the young man; it was reprehensible.
I wish you the best,
Larry
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