When I was on anti-depressants about 7 or 8 years ago, right after my hysterectomy, I too was told he'd rather be with me without the medication. He didn't use the word "flare" but I know what you mean--the sparkle, the zip, the me. However, I don't deal with the dissociative disorder, but I know how that would make me feel--just like you do. Confused --because you miss that part, too, but you need the day to day functioning, the living in reality. Is there perchance another medication that you could try that wouldn't dull the flare but still keep you in reality? I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Talk to your doctor and explain to him/her.