I usually do feel better when I talk about my problems here. I have delusional disorder. which means I believe things that aren't true. But to me they are very real. For instance, my boyfriend and I had a very hard time watching tv because when something as simple as an ad for cover girl came on, I would say, "so I guess that's what you wished I look like" . we could never really have a good time in public, because if a girl would walk by who was attractive, I would say the same types of things about wouldn't he be happy if I looked like that. I can't handle the idea of him going out with his friends, I never thought he would cheat on me, just the idea that he would see other women and wish I looked like them. I am not ugly, and I know that, and he told me how pretty I am, it's just that there's always someone better out there, and I just can't understand why he wouldn't want to be with someone prettier if he could. I know I'm a good person, but there's always someone better. I know this might seem petty, but it truly consumes me, even when I'm by myself, if I see an attractive woman, I wish I looked like that so that I wouldn't have to worry any more. I think about that all day everyday. My shrink says I have the same disorder as people who think that the cia has planted devices in their shoes, and that they are being followed etc. I am on medication, but it has severe side effects, so my doctor is increasing the dosage very slowly, and it will probably be another 2 months before I show improvement. My boyfriend of two years said he just can't do it anymore. I understand, b/c I couldn't handle being treated the way I treated him. The examples I described here were mild. Anyways, I just wanted to say thank-you for all the support, it really does help, this is probably the lowest point in my life, and it's really nice to know I have someone to talk too.