Quote:
Originally Posted by pachyderm
Hmmm. And how did the "dialectical failures" get established in the mind of the sufferer?
Might it be that they were encouraged in the family of origin, or modelled there as being the way things were always done? Maybe any other approach (seeing more than one side of a question) was stigmatized?
And if that happened to be so, might the approach to changing things be more challenging? |
(I forgot to note that I copied this stuff from a website.)
You bet, the family of origin did everything but be supportive! So the person left the family not even knowing which way was up when it comes to how they fit into the world around them and how to interact.
The approach to changing things is very challenging. It seems that for this approach you hang on to both extremes and then look for the middle or the gray as opposed to the black or white extremes.
I raise my 2 girls by looking at them and trying to understand where they are and trying to see the world through their eyes to see their challenges. Proper development is not about the parent (their needs), it is about the child. What do they need. So many parents don't get this, because of their own problems of course. All of our problems came about because of a parent who couldn't see beyond their own problems to see us. Proper development takes a parent who can see what the child needs. A person who develops BPD had a parent who didn't have a clue about what their child needed and then everything that they did just confused the child more (because it was the opposite of what the child needed). Getting better is making sense out of that confusion.