Nothing can take my mind off of it.. I need to plan out what I'm going to say to him, or I'll just say something then contradict it so he doesn't ask me about it.. I know I'll do that if he doesn't jump in there first..

I'm not in the mood for music tonight, really I'm not.. And that just depresses me even more...
So far, I'm through day one of starvation and it's making me feel a little less anxious because I know I'm losing the weight, which makes me more confident..

I just hope Alec doesn't hear my stomach grumble on Wednesday and hope even more that Connor doesn't try to make me eat.. I'll never be able to cover up then