welcome to pc. i'm sorry you are depresed but i suspect what has taken you there. i don't know if i can answer your question cause i'm not "there" but i felt a few "red flags" go up when you were telling about what's happening.
i can only share my experience from the past. my T told me to go with my first instinct because i was probably right. i was a trusting person until a realtionship proved to me that some people have hidden agendas and they didn't include me.
you stated enough that i'd be concerned as you are. i don't know what, if anything, is truly going on. do you have a therapist that you can run all this by to? i feel he might see things objectively and also give you suggestions of how to sort all this out with your partner.
keep us posted on how you are doing, k? we care about you.