dianne, thank you too for the suggestions, validation and understanding. last nite i thought what have i done to myself?!!! my son did call me after the email i sent and it looks like we've gotten this untangled in a healthy way. it was so unlike him to present the question that way. perhaps he's stressed out too. yes, med costs, etc. are a lot of our problems today. i tell people i live in order to pay for my medicines. many of us have no other choice.
i'm going to save your post as it has some good points of how to "word" it if i find myself back in this situation again with my son. so thank you for being such a good friend.