Hello and welcome to PC. I am a 52 year old male, been married nearly 36 years. Yes, I married young. My wife is somewhat like your's in that she has a hard time showing affection or complimenting or touching. She says it is because she had none when she was young, all her family is quite cold. He parents died 20+ years ago. I too wondered if she loved me and fantasied about affairs, even had a couple emotional affairs that she found out about and she went ballistic. It was good to see some emotion from her and I told her that. Well, she got up off the couch and started exersizing, she was a little overweight, and walking and eating right. She quit the HGTV and ice cream everynight and started wanting to go out so I let her go out. She told me that she liked dancing and that she danced with some guys. This went on for a while, then I said "hey, why don't I go with you" so off we went, we had a great time and now we go out together and do things like walking, dancing, hiking and exersize. We even bought a tredmill and recumbant bike. She uses the fitness center at work every night before coming home, she has really changed and it is good.
I love her for what she is doing for herself and me. I wonder sometimes if she is planning on leaving me and I ask her if she is, she says no, but I wonder sometimes. I am ok with whatever happens because I want so much for her to be happy. I wouldn't want a divorce and she has admitted to thinking about it, but she says she is not going to. I want her to be happy more than anything and if leaving me does it then I will accept that. I have never been one to be jealous and I think that bothers her.
I tell her I wouldn't like to be with her if she is not happy and I have tried for over 35 years to make her happy and then one day like majic it happened. She is even working on becoming more affectionate and is much happier. I think it all happened from having that emotional tie to another woman that was very physically fit and active. I am not advocating that you do this either.

I don't know if this helps you but just know that you are not alone.

Good luck,