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i have never used mj for any reason. the only time i tried it as a teenager, back in the stone age (1970) i was so anxious about it being illegal i had no high that i remember. but...
the pot grown these days is much stronger than that available in the hippie days. but not only is it stronger it may be cut with who knows what - a very dangerous thing. you just never know what grass bought from illegal sources will ever do to you. beware for your sake. you have not said if you are interested in having children; i've read that smoking dope can do things to your dna.
there are so many "unknowns" involved in what you are doing plus the legal ramifications, please think this over very carefully and make choices you can live with long-term.
those who wrote you to look into the reasons for your fear made good points. going to the roots of this matter could get you free forever and THAT is something you could really live with!
i struggle with anxiety myself so i am not being flippant with you or judging you. i know what gut level fear is like and how it haunts me sometimes and i hope you can get free.
leslie
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  HEALING HAPPENS
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