I often mistake my grief for being completely loopy and around the bend.

kimmy asked about the physical....have the docs found anything more about the kidney pain?

From what you write it could be a combination of both the emotional grief and subsequent feelings that go along with that AND the physical discomfort you express.

Oh Monty I wish things were easier and we had magic words here to help.

The therapy work you're currently doing sounds intensive. Please take care and maybe ask the T about pacing a bit more so as to help keep you from being this worn down? just an idea.....