cc - you're an absolute sweety. thank you for your post .

i saw pdoc today - he called and was able to give me an appt after work. of course the first thing he asked about was the voices/seeing stuff (i had mentioned it to him in a txt, on your guys advice) and i asked him if we could ignore it. he said "of course" and then gently started digging for more info . so it all came out in the end.

was it you cybermember who said they were experiencing ptsd symptoms that were similar? pdoc initially thought that it could be pseudo-hallucinations connected with my trauma, but when we went through what the actual hallucinations were, he agreed that it was unlikely that they were flashbacks/somehow connected to trauma.

he did say that he thinks if i didn't have ptsd, i wouldn't be having these hallucinations - he thinks it's an atypical symptom of all the stress i've been through. also, i used to have really bad migraines with visual aura (that also happened only when i got stressed) - so he said it's quite possible that it was linked.

he said he is 100% certain that i am not developing a psychosis/some form of schizophrenia. i really needed to hear that. he said if it happens again, just to take some of my anti-psychotic and go to bed (the anti-psychotic always knocks me out), but that if i was ok with it happening, just to soldier on and make sure i got rest as soon as possible.

i'm glad you guys encouraged me to be open with my pdoc. it is a huge weight of worry lifted off me.