Maybe they are onto you and maybe it is a good thing, because.. It seems like.. You realise that at first you were in control of your eating and dieting, which is great, but now, you've lost that control and vomiting your food up is something that's becoming habitual for you and you feel there's no turning back in a way.. Could I be right?

Do you want to get out of having to vomit up your food in order to make you feel better? And just be able to live a normal life, consuming healthy amounts of food and being able to exercise and feel happy about that? I know I'm struggling with my ED atm and such, but.. Maybe it's about time you took control of you and your life, your eating etc. Don't let yourself feel guilty for eating something.. If you work, or go to school or college, you probably burn that off anyway, whatever amount of calories you've eaten, you burn off, othewise why would the guideline amount of calories be 2000?

Please, please try and talk to someone about this, add the SWEDA support people on msn, or email them. I will post the address here for you tonight, I'm not at home at the momentm so don't have it, but it might be a good idea, although they are only situated here in the UK, but they could still be of some use to you, possibly.. Would you like me to do that for you? They've been an incredible help to me too

I hope things start to look up for you soon

take care of yourself *hugs you gently*
and PM me anytime,

Kirsten