Here's my honest opinion.

You say things about the weight, eating and so forth, but I think it has more to do with the emotional issues than the weight. And I am totally guessing here but I think it was that for a long time. You could deal with it when she looked good and so forth, but now that she is physically unattractive to you there is, well, nothing there for you.

Guessing again here, because you sound like a nice guy, that if you dealt with the emotional side I would bet a million bucks that the physical would not bother you as much. Might still bother you, but you may be less inclined to use a word like "repulsed" in reference to her.

I am sorta middle aged and overweight (but divorced) and I am thrilled to be able to be fat and happy (I used to work out 6 days a week for years and was very athletic). I have no interest in a romantic relationship for many reasons but also because of some of the things you state. It simply is not worth it to me.

I don't know if I helped at all, but you sound like you love your wife very much and I truly wish both of you all the best.