As a former wife of someone like you-not meaning this in a mean way-I think a lot of the points that have been made are valid. I was very stressed out by my hub's sexual expectations(3x daily or more)&I ate to compensate for the lack of affection&caring. It was always about him&his wants/needs. Are your wife's needs being met? Have you asked her? I also was raised in a household where the only physical contact was when I was being beaten-youlearn not to trust anyone;s requests for affection because you never know what it may REALLY be. The sexual abuse issues area big one for women-we're socialized that we're sluts if we have sex&prudes if we don't-if you're a victim of sexual abuse, these societal expectations really mess with your head&may not manifest as a problem until you hit middle age. I'd agree that you should think of couples counseling-it will not be a blame game-it will help you see each other again. Also, take into account-do you look&act the same way you did as when you first met your wife? We all change with time & experience. Please know that I'm not trying to criticize you-my ex left me because I was "Too heavy", wouldn't have sex with him 3x a day anymore(I didn't want it from someone who didn't love me for me.)&he had several emotional affairs. Be careful, try to be gentle when talking to your wife-you don't really know where she's at right now&try the marital counseling&if she won't go-you go, you can learn a lot!