I'd like to preface this little diatribe by saying that I love this site and the people I've met here. There is much information and ongoing support for and by many wonderful people, in a loving, knowledgeable, and relatively free from trite dogma atmosphere. I've made many friends here. I've also managed to make my very first post on the web here, so something here helped me overcome that initial hurdle to resocialization.

After my initial hard to achieve success however I've found myself relatively stalled. Maybe I'm looking to blame something outside of myself or maybe I'm just tired of being told everywhere I go to look elsewhere we don't have that here if you don't like it you can leave... I've got a number of things I need to work on; prominent among them is increasing my conflict resolution skills, without that I can't even seem to get on the same page as a therapist let alone arrive at a level of confidence that would allow me, survival, independence, and personal fulfillment.

I've found the aggressive suppression of attempts to learn and arrive at conflict resolution to be, at least somewhat, nonsupportive here, and counterproductive to furtherance of my mental health. The while stifling conflict by prohibiting conflict via the deletion, locking, of threads that raise differences; efforts at resolving them, are squashed, and negatively reinforced. It seems to me, this does not support healthy communication but teaches authoritarian and power based abuse. Many would like to feel safe from conflict and there should be places for that while acknowledging that such places enable the conflict avoidant to remain ignorant and unpracticed with needed skills. Those who at a different stage of their recovery and development need examples and experiences of conflict resolution to gain confidence in their ability to meet the unavoidable conflict situations they will face in life. Some need this first or they will tend to be stopped from starting and or continuing therapy even when needed most. I have just lost a dear friend do to this very thing. The usual excuse is that they didn't want to be helped, part true but also, Baloney, conflict resolution negotiations broke down, Fatally! Conflict resolution should be encouraged in some perhaps sheltered section of all mental health sites, as I see it, those who need the calm of no conflict temporarily can avoid that section/forum. If it can't be done as part of this site links to where it is focused on would be welcome.

Doc John, has a perfect right to run a web site however he sees fit (I think he has done a wonderful job and provided a great service), it just might not meet everyone's mental health needs, as is. I need support at increasing conflict resolution skills, as I believe many who have come to this site do. As these skills are not taught generally or thoroughly enough in schools or elsewhere, the result is much mental illness and needless suffering. There is a huge need for such a place in mental health support settings especially. I also need to stop avoiding potential conflict and the challenges in life as they just change form and tend to grow with avoidance I think. We all have a very effective source of peaceful refuge from conflict many who have found it had it marked in stone, R.I.P.

Perhaps it's just me making some of the same thinking and behavioral mistakes that led me here, I don't know.

~ Sincerely if only tentatively ~ Down
ps:sorry for the length