So a few months back, my girlfriend (at the time anyway, she's now my fiancée) and I had a mid-size argument regarding a client of the company that she works for.

We've lived together for just over three years now. Been together for about 3.5 years.

She's a care provider for a company that has privately owned homes in town in which they house their clients. Typically two to three clients per house with one care giver at a time. She works Tuesday morning - Thursday evening.

A male client that lives in a house probably about a mile away (i'll call it house 2) used to walk to house 1 (where my fiancée works). He would hang out and they would talk, innocently.

This would happen just about every tuesday and wednesday for roughly 2-6 hours daily. They once had a conversation about him having issues with "falling" for female care givers. My fiancee even asked HIM if HE thought SHE was attractive. He answered "Hell yeah!".............

He would also call her late nights (9pm or so) alot, sometimes I was still on the phone w/her.

She had also text messaged this client via her cell phone to his. Supposedly to send jokes.

I was able to come visit, but only for a few minutes at a time. She would always push me out the door saying that her "boss" could drop by at any minute and me being there wouldnt' be good. Privacy issues and whatnot.

Ok, so he was allowed to be there because he was a client in the same company, but just a different house. ( He is there because he has bipolor disorder ).

Anyway, theres more to it but we had our scuffle. I told her it bothered me him spending so much time w/her and calling so much, especially late nights. She told me he just needed someone to talk to and she was only trying to help him out by listening.

Even though I pointed out the fact that I was in discomfort w/the situation, she fought me on it. She was making point after couter point defending him and his coming over.

She told me she had talked w/him about the calling and coming over and how it bugged me, her boyfriend (at the time). The talk must not have done much good because he kept calling, when he called she refused to answer the phone because she knew it was him and that it would upset me.

To make a long story short, in the end I told her that there is a simple way to make this problem go away. Quit talking w/the guy so much. Quit hanging out w/him socially. If he's going to be there - he's going to be there for a reason AND with the rest of his house (other client and caregiver). There's no need for him to be alone w/her.

Somehow, someway... i've never been informed on how this happened but he just up and quit calling, coming over, etc. out of the blue.

This was a few months back like I said and up until today, it's been a dead issue. She calls me (she left for work this morning, won't be back until thursday) and begins telling me that there is some overtime available, though it's at house 2, where this client lives.

It was a full shift, beginning Thursday night - ending Sunday Morning. She wanted my permission to do the shift, as she knew how I felt about this guy.

She asked me to think it through. This was at 11 am today. At about 2:30 I text message her on her phone and tell her something like this:

Me: I've thought about you doing the OT over there, and i've decided that it's a decision that you need to make. Me telling to that you can't work somewhere and can't make extra cash would be unfair to you.

Her: I want to be sure that it's ok with you because I know how you feel about this guy. I don't want it to cause any tension between us. Just so you know, since our last talk about him he's not come over or called!

Me: It'll only cause tension if he starts calling you late nights again, coming over again or worse yet, text messaging you again. I don't trust him for anything. Specially after he kept calling you late nights after you asked him not to.

Her: Well its an easy house, easy over time, I don't want to pass that up.

Me: I understand, it's your choice to make. Just consider how I feel about the situation.

Her: I'll tell my boss then.

Me: So you're going to do it?

Her: If I can

Me: You don't think that you going over to see him is going to be the catalyst for him to start coming over again and calling again and wanting to be around you again?

Her: No. Nothing will change from how it is now.

Me: How do you know?

Her: You don't trust my judgement.

Me: I trust you with my life. It's HIM I don't trust. He's had a violent history, you text messaged him behind my back almost getting you fired

blah blah blah. We basically got into the same argument we did a few months back.

I thought this issue was dead and gone but now it's poked it's little evil head back into our lives.

The first time this happened, toward the end of a week and a half long argument over this, I was considering leaving her over this. She knew my discomfort - I asked her to make it stop and she protested. I had few other choices, finally we came to a conclusion that he was not good for our relationship.

Now she wants to go to the house where he lives and stay a full three nights over there, with her being the only caregiver.

Though, I did ask her to make the decision - I simply meant that as a gesture for her to take it on herself to decline because I simply did not approve and she should have known that.

She kind of fought me on it again - saying it's all for the money and we need it.

While this might be true - we could very well use the money - to me it's simply not worth the hassle and I let her know that. I also told her if we have to go through this B.S with this guy again, I'm done.

She asked how we can solve this problem and I tell her by talking about it. She says that she doesn't know that she can handle that... talking about it last time about "did her in". Meaning she also was considering leaving me at the time.

Now she says she should have known better to ever have even asked and she should have declined.

What do you think? Am I over-reacting? Am I the jealous boyfriend?

Why should she have even considered leaving me in the first place? She was the one getting into a client that's not even in her house & allowing him over to just hang out and taking his late night phone calls. Even if they are just friends - is that reason enough to rip apart an engaged couple?

I'm so confused right now. Please help me make sense of this gibberish!