First of all I'm very sorry to hear about your boyfriend. He sounds very very sick and he needs a lot of help. It is very good that he's started taking meds - that is a very postive first step. He should also be going to counseling so that his behavior, motivation and problem-solving can be monitored and strengthened.

Right now, he is unable to take action for himself because he doesn't care about himself. But, he has to realize that he is in a relationship and he must care about you. He needs to be participating in the process of his wellness, otherwise you aren't in a relationship, you are being a parent.

When I was very sick, I lived with my girlfriend. She worked full-time while I looked for a job. It took me a while to find a job, and all the while she maintained a balance between providing a loving, caring environment for me but also indicating that she needed me to participate and make genuine effort.

If you love him, then you have to make him realize that if he doesn't take steps to nurture your relationship, then in won't exist. You can't create the whole relationship yourself and you'll only end up hurting yourself if you try to.

My advise is to focus on the clinical treatment of his depression. That means weekly therapy whether he talk or not, a certain amount of contributions and accountability to your shared household - even as simple as keeping the place clean and doing the laundry. His main job right now is to learn to manage his depression. No degree or job is going to do that.