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Dear Soulfulgrrl,
I agree with Notz. Living with someone with DID is difficult to say the least. My ex could not compete with the war inside, and left us because he didn't get enough kudos from us, enough love from us, enough of anything from us. We just couldn't do it. It is difficult to even love ourselves.
Have you tried to talk with her and see what she needs? Sometimes now when I am wanting someone to love me, to focus on me, to support me, I first look at what I am dealing with, and then look at what they are dealing with, and then sometimes not say anything because I don't want their lives more complicated with my needs. I am quite sure your gf loves you and appreciates all you do for her. She just isn't sure she can give more when she is already dealing with so much herself.
When we feel lonely, confused, overwhelmed, and abandoned, we take it to the streets and find someone who's needs are greater than ours, and find strength that we didn't know we had. We can always find someone who's needs are greater than ours, so we feel good when we can just sit and listen to someone else, be there for someone else, especially when all else is crumbling around us. Try going around your gf more, attend to her needs a bit more, and try to be happy that you are together. What you need can be found here among friends. You know that because you come here for help. Let us help you help her, and you will feel better in the process. Talk to us more and let us talk to you.
Beth of Jewels
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True love exists when we lose ourselves to invest in the care of others.
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